New Year’s Resolution is Garbage — Try Year-End Instead
I Ditched New Year’s Resolution. Something magical happened as the year was about to end.
My Year-End Resolution: Cramming to Get My Sh*t Together 😂
If there’s one thing that Stoicism taught me that really stuck, it’s Memento Mori: Remember you shall die.
It’s reminding yourself that life is short. This will help you clarify and re-assess your life. Motivate yourself to seize every opportunity.
But a lifetime might feel too long. It might help to remember that the year shall end.
One fine Friday, I decided to leave home.
I didn’t know how long my soul-searching would take at first. I just wanted my solitude back so bad.
I had airline travel funds enough for a round ticket. I thought I might pass on family Christmas this year.
Without second thoughts, I started packing. It’s the freedom-loving Sagittarius in me wanting to break free.
Ever heard of the term “Divine Discontent”?
It’s those times when you feel so dissatisfied you just want to give up. Without rationalizing and excuses… you just want out.
It’s a temporary phase where you hate where you are so much but you can’t put a finger on why.
But you don’t want to give up on yourself just yet.
“Very often, you’ll suffer from what has been called “divine discontent.” You’ll feel fidgety and uneasy for a reason or reasons that are unclear to you. You’ll be dissatisfied with the status quo. Sometimes, you’ll be unable to sleep.” — Brian Tracy
My 2022 was a roller coaster.
- I got my biggest job offer and lost it when I lost my brother.
- I got into a new relationship dynamic that’s a roller coaster in itself.
- After 5 years of working my ass off, I got involved in events and started to travel long distances with family again.
- Better projects, great clients. Also burned out.
- Actively writing and learned new skills and hobbies.
I still felt empty. Like something’s missing in my life.
I just turned 32 weeks ago
I felt nothing much has changed recently and now the year’s about to end. It felt like another year wasted.
I didn’t care how long it would take to get my life back. I felt that it would take me a couple of weeks to a month to fix me.
But guess what, I’d later realize that all I needed was a weekend off.
I usually day dream about this day coming. I have planned this many times in my head. But it turned out to be a spur-of-the-moment decision. I bought some heavy duty outdoor sandals, packed my bag, grabbed the camera and booked the cheapest hostel I could find.
I started a blog on Urban Hiking. I played Pokemon Go initially as an excuse to walk long distances. I got hooked! I joined the community events, took pictures around the city, and enjoyed the sights and sounds.
I enrolled myself in a martial art I’ve badly wanted to learn when I was younger. I heard a lot of naysayers tell me that it’s too late for me. But my master believed that I could do it.
F*ck it, better late than never.
For the first time since I gave birth to my only child at 23,
I came out of my comfort zone and wandered alone aimlessly. Just lived the moment and did what I wanted at every given moment.
It was liberating to finally turn my back (for a while) from the obligations that I’ve been religiously putting my attention to for years.
I didn’t realize how important solitude is until I had this year-end crisis.
Of course, the dangers that caused me to put this off for a long time were real. I was staying at a place downtown that’s not so safe for a midnight walk to grab a snack. I lost my wallet on my second night with all my cash and ATM cards.
Still, it was a life-changing weekend.
For a moment as I walked the streets of the night market, I felt a tinge of guilt.
I shouldn’t be here alone, I should be eating out with family. They should be enjoying these sights and sounds with me.
But then a divine whisper deep within tells me that this me time will make me a better mother, partner, creator and friend. That 2-second thought made me want to enjoy every bit of the smells, sights and sounds of that moment even more.
Back to Normal
Of course my weekend-off spiraled out of control as I made adjustments to my new life. Yes, 2 days and my life has significantly changed.
I had to catch up at work and re-adjust to my usual, normal life.
But God knows it’s gotten better. I now see things from an entirely different perspective.
I’ve gotten fitter these past two weeks. A miracle you wouldn’t expect during the holidays! I’ve gained some strength from all the long walks that I’m now regularly doing (thanks Pokemon Go!)
As someone who has worked at her desk for 14 years, my first 2 weeks at the Dojo really improved my flexibility. I can now reach my toes, yay!
Solitude is bliss. I wish you the strongest Divine Discontent, ASAP.
