When They Tell You to “Just Be Yourself”
It’s hard, isn’t it? When you’re too nervous to join a small crowd in an event or to speak in front of new people and a friend gives you that helpful advice to calm your nerves: “It’s alright. Just be yourself.”
“Be myself?” you ask in utter disbelief. It’s as if “your self” is the best spirit to summon in this scenario, you thought.
I often tell my friends the same words. Usually when they’re about to meet a new client or go through an interview with the hiring manager, I’d tell them to chill, to be themselves. Why? Because I appreciate them when they’re in their most authentic… because they’re beautiful when they’re comfortable expressing themselves in the safe space of our friendship. And I think that that authenticity will really work its charm when they’re in any pressing situation.
But what is Authenticity, really?
Authenticity is unapologetic acceptance of who you are — your failures, successes and flaws — at the moment.
Authenticity is simply the best version of yourself… your true and real self. It’s not a made-up version, or the version you wish you would be. It’s not the version that you “summon” to impress them. Your authentic personality is the real you, the best version of it.
If you go out there and talk to people without aiming to impress them and just be the best version of yourself, you have nothing to be nervous about. The best version of yourself is not perfect, yet it is comfortable and accepting of its flaws. There’s nothing to fear when you go out there comfortable in your own skin because you aim not to please but to listen and create lasting relationships.
Confidence = Secure + Comfortable with other people.
You can only be confident if you are both authentic and generous. If your aim is to be able to help — to interact because you want to listen and be present because you want to be on the lookout for opportunities to be able to help — you have nothing to fear. If you go out there to express a thought or to network with others with the intention of being able to give value, you won’t be afraid to be yourself.
